


Between Your Whispers

by bloodsongs



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 01:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsongs/pseuds/bloodsongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His spear at Thor’s throat, Thor calls out to him, looking wrecked with betrayal and hurt, so much hurt. Loki closes his eyes, remembers that one crucial moment where his hate blended into love, into lies, into truth, into pain—</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Your Whispers

**Author's Note:**

> A little what-if drabble based on the scene in the movie where Loki tells Thor, "Sometimes, I'm envious. But never doubt that I love you." Lie, truth, or something that's somewhere in between? Perhaps Loki does not recognise the true nature of his words for what they are, and he might never will.

There are precious few moments where Loki’s words reflect the truth and depth of his feelings.

He wields his tongue like a weapon, deft and graceful in his art of deceit. Lies mask his thoughts, his heart like smoke and mirrors. Loki is cruel, a master of cunning and manipulation, and he has no qualms of playing others to get what he wants.

With Thor, it is a little different. He lies, still, but a part of him breaks when he is faced with Thor’s earnestness, Thor’s simple kindness. Sometimes, he wants nothing more than to be honest with his brother, his only brother.

Habit dulls, blunts the sting of the strange hurt that seizes through him when he spins more falsehoods before Thor, building a web of lies upon lies that he thinks surrounds them beautifully like a prison. He knows it binds him, feels the weight of his untruths upon his shoulders - but Loki has long since ceased to care about those burdens.

Still, this one time, as the days creep nearer and nearer to Thor’s inevitable ascension, Loki lies. He smiles, lets his eyes light with sincerity as he tells Thor how happy he is for him, how much he’s yearned for this, for Thor’s triumph.

He tells Thor in no uncertain terms that he loves him.

Thor grins back, as he always does, his eyes softening with the kind of joy that’s reserved for Loki, only Loki, and Loki feels something sharp and possessive snap through him like a bolt of lightning. It’s his, only his, and he can see Thor’s love for him reflected in his toothy smile, the quiet and careless _thank you_ in response, the way Thor embraces him later, the way his eyes flick to Loki's for reassurance, for some degree of approval.

Loki knows he lied, but he doesn’t understand the pang in his heart that grips him, the helplessness that swamps him, as though he’d meant those words to be true.

Maybe it is, he tells himself, because the best lies are those that are swathed in truth, close to what's real so that they are almost indistinguishable. But those are not his true feelings, of course, not really.

The words mean nothing, after all. He isn’t happy for Thor, he isn’t… he’s bitter, he’s twisted, he’s darkly furious with a wrath not unlike spitting fire. He doesn’t love Thor.

Loki tells himself that again and again and _again_ , like a feverish mantra, his spear at Thor’s throat. Thor calls out to him, looking wrecked with betrayal and hurt, so much hurt, and Loki closes his eyes, remembers that one crucial moment where his hate blended into love, into lies, into truth, into _pain_ —

_His lie cannot become truth, but perhaps it was the truth all along—_

—and brings his spear down.

 


End file.
